"My book is free? Lock it up at once!"
—Lemony Snicket, regarding the free online edition of THE BAD BEGINNING. Watch his recorded response in the video.
The entire text of THE BAD BEGINNING, the first book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, has been made available online. For FREE. Open to anyone. Including horrible villains, innocent readers, and you.
PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS LINK TO FRIENDS, FAMILY, OR PEOPLE WITH COMPUTERS.
SHARING THE UNABRIDGED FREE VERSION OF THE BAD BEGINNING WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER READ IT IS COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE. “Completely irresponsible” is a phrase which here means no one will be able to prove you did it.
*falls off a cliff*
me: i’m gonna write
me: [reads another person’s writing]
me: i’m never writing again
*pulls out bread at wedding* i’d like to make a toast
NO YOU DON’T GET IT
MY DAD LEGIT DID THIS IN HIS SPEECH
AT HIS OWN WEDDING
it was hidden in his inside-jacket pocket while he made his vows to my mum, and it was so top-secret that his best man had to smuggle in a slice of toast so no one saw it while he was getting ready.
…HIS OWN FREAKING WEDDING
why does everyone look so surprised when i say the reason for cutting my hair short is the hot weather, what were u expecting “i need to take my father’s place in war and the chinese army won’t accept women” ???